Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week — 1/12

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  • user warning: Table './tipsformom_drupal/cache_filter' is marked as crashed and should be repaired query: UPDATE cache_filter SET data = '<p><figure id=\"attachment_5216135\" style=\"width: 1200px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><span class=\"size-full wp-image-5216135 disney-lazy-loader-wrapper\"><img class=\"disney-lazy-loader pending\" src=\"https://www.babble.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/funniest-parenting-tweets-1.11.18-200x200.png\" data-src=\"https://www.babble.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/funniest-parenting-tweets-1.11.18-624x624.png\" alt=\"Them: My goal is to finish two marathons this year. Me: My goal is to finish putting away the clean laundry the same day that it gets washed.\" width=\"1200\" height=\"1200\" /><span class=\"disney-lazy-loader-icon\"></span></span><figcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Image Source: Babble</figcaption></figure></p>\n<p>If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who has the time for more than 280 characters, anyway? Not us. So here you go — the funniest tweets from parents on Twitter this week. #YoureWelcome</p>\n<p><strong>1. Let’s be honest.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">My eight year old wears a t-shirt that says Dad\'s Little Helper but he doesn\'t do squat….<a href=\"https://twitter.com/hashtag/dadlife?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#dadlife</a></p>\n<p>— Sir Charles (@chuckmcgee28) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/chuckmcgee28/status/950846298936238080?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 9, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>2. Shooting for the stars.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">When I was younger I used to want to go to space.</p>\n<p>Nowadays my greatest dream is to be able to eat a single meal without having to share it.</p>\n<p>I\'m more likely to go to space to be honest.<a href=\"https://twitter.com/hashtag/parenting?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#parenting</a> <a href=\"https://twitter.com/hashtag/dadlife?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#dadlife</a></p>\n<p>— Jack\'s Dad (@DaddingAround) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/DaddingAround/status/950788878486695938?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 9, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>3. Ear ache.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">The hardest thing about parenting isn\'t keeping kids fed or keeping kids alive or raising good humans, it\'s doing all that while your toddler makes the most annoying sound in the world.</p>\n<p>— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/MyMomologue/status/950411599830859777?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 8, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>4. Mom rocks.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Yesterday, my wife managed distract our 3 year old from total emotional breakdown by suggesting he stand on a large rock.</p>\n<p>— dadpression (@Dadpression) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/Dadpression/status/950049614132113408?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 7, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>5. Every. Time.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Why does me finally getting to sit down and eat something seem to be the cue for my son to poop? Not the aromatic experience I was hoping for. <a href=\"https://twitter.com/hashtag/momlife?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#momlife</a></p>\n<p>— Mommed Real Hard (@MommedRealHard) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/MommedRealHard/status/950413829858406400?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 8, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>6. Color us crazy.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">i ask my toddler what\'s in the box she\'s holding. \"chaos!\" she replies. \"chaos! chaos!\" i know she\'s trying to say \"crayons,\" but it\'s not like she\'s wrong.</p>\n<p>— rachelle mandik (@rachelle_mandik) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/rachelle_mandik/status/950727371346337793?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 9, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>7. The irony.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">When your wife fixes the baby gate but doesn\'t tell you. Then you assume you can just walk through it will a gentle nudge, but instead almost die. <a href=\"https://twitter.com/hashtag/parenting?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#parenting</a> <a href=\"https://twitter.com/hashtag/babyproblems?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#babyproblems</a></p>\n<p>— Isablog (@isablogUK) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/isablogUK/status/950794649991634944?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 9, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>8. The breath test.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Parenting is 82% smelling someone else’s mouth to see if they’re lying about tooth brushing, eating candy, or puking</p>\n<p>— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/KateWouldHaveIt/status/950334859892977664?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 8, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>9. SAME.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">My parenting style is best described as \"No\" with a side of \"Ugh. Fine, but please don\'t hurt yourself.\"</p>\n<p>— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/2questionable/status/950426854279827458?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 8, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>10. The poop on parenting.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">The truth about parenting: looking another human in the eyes as they poop. <a href=\"https://twitter.com/hashtag/parenting?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#parenting</a></p>\n<p>— Mindy (@bluegrassmama7) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/bluegrassmama7/status/951099169577594880?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 10, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>11. Make it stop!</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Nothing tests a parent’s sanity like a kid who recently learned to whistle. <a href=\"https://twitter.com/hashtag/parenting?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#parenting</a> <a href=\"https://twitter.com/hashtag/Parents?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#Parents</a> <a href=\"https://twitter.com/hashtag/Parenthood?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#Parenthood</a></p>\n<p>— Mandi (@MandiCastle) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/MandiCastle/status/950845055702626304?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 9, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>12. Wild thing.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">I love my toddler, but man, that thing is insane.</p>\n<p>— BLT1980 (@blewist1844) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/blewist1844/status/950552812676698113?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 9, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>13. </strong><strong>It just doesn’t work.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Saying please to a toddler is like being polite to a tornado.</p>\n<p>— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/DadandBuried/status/950133740071784448?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 7, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>14. Youth is wasted on the young.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">SON: MY SUBSTITUTE TEACHER YESTERDAY WAS SO OLD SHE\'S ALMOST DEAD</p>\n<p>ME: how old was she </p>\n<p>SON: I DUNNO LIKE 38</p>\n<p>ME:</p>\n<p>— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/ValeeGrrl/status/950720861383856128?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 9, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><b>15. A mother’s strength. </b></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">I\'m sorry fitness experts, but there is no better strength test than trying to put a coat and pair of shoes on a toddler.</p>\n<p>— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/outsmartedmommy/status/950450922076954629?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 8, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>16. </strong><strong>Quick fix.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Pro tip: That noise your car\'s making is no longer a problem if your kids are screaming so loudly in the back seat that you can\'t hear it.</p>\n<p>— SammichesPsychMeds (@SamPsychMeds) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/SamPsychMeds/status/950474384388616192?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 8, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>17. Hammer Time.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">I\'m like the MC Hammer of moms because I too am constantly telling people not to touch things and also my pants fit weird</p>\n<p>— F Word Fitzgerald (@muthr_goose) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/muthr_goose/status/950124405413195776?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 7, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>18. Scary stuff.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Couldn\'t find my purse and I was in a panic for like 5 minutes. I have some really important snacks in there phew that was close.</p>\n<p>— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/nayele18maybe/status/950757576567902208?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 9, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<p><strong>19. Mom marathon.</strong></p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Them: My goal is to finish two marathons this year.</p>\n<p>Me: My goal is to finish putting away the clean laundry the same day that it gets washed.</p>\n<p>— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) <a href=\"https://twitter.com/AbbyHasIssues/status/950890988888842240?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 10, 2018</a></p>\n</blockquote>\n<div class=\"tm-embedded-post-container\">\n<div class=\"tm-embedded-post-header\">Related Post</div>\n<p><a name=\"&amp;lpos=article-embedded&amp;lid=article-embedded/text/Funniest+Parenting+Tweets+of+the+Week+%E2%80%94+1%2F5\" href=\"https://www.babble.com/parenting/funniest-parenting-tweets-of-the-week-010518/\"><br />\n<div class=\"tm-embedded-post-title\">Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week — 1/5</div>\n<div class=\"tm-embedded-post-arrow\"></div>\n<p></p></a></p></div>\n<p>The post <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"https://www.babble.com/parenting/funniest-parenting-tweets-of-the-week-011218/\">Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week — 1/12</a> appeared first on <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"https://www.babble.com\">Babble</a>.</p>\n', created = 1537329519, expire = 1537415919, headers = '', serialized = 0 WHERE cid = '2:aaf16fd13cef3967864c60136274124f' in /var/www/vhosts/tipsformom.com/httpdocs/includes/cache.inc on line 108.
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Them: My goal is to finish two marathons this year. Me: My goal is to finish putting away the clean laundry the same day that it gets washed.
Image Source: Babble

If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who has the time for more than 280 characters, anyway? Not us. So here you go — the funniest tweets from parents on Twitter this week. #YoureWelcome

1. Let’s be honest.

2. Shooting for the stars.

3. Ear ache.

4. Mom rocks.

5. Every. Time.

6. Color us crazy.

7. The irony.

8. The breath test.

9. SAME.

10. The poop on parenting.

11. Make it stop!

12. Wild thing.

13. It just doesn’t work.

14. Youth is wasted on the young.

15. A mother’s strength. 

16. Quick fix.

17. Hammer Time.

18. Scary stuff.

19. Mom marathon.

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Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week — 1/5

The post Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week — 1/12 appeared first on Babble.


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